“You’re too prone to accidents anyway.”

says a fellow adventurer and good friend of mine. I think he might be right. Take Exhibits A-G:

Exhibit A

April 2008: bouldering accident @ Sports Club LA, NYC involving a 10 foot fall during a dyno; somehow I had three dudes spotting me and still managed to fall on my left ankle, abruptly turning it as I landed on it. Oh, and I vividly recall saying ‘I’m totally going to fall on this move’ right before I did. Nice one. Air cast, ace bandage, NSAIDs, 3 months physical therapy

Exhibit B

August 2008: fell and flipped over whilst carrying a 50+lb. pack on the downward approach in Rumney, NH, re-injuring same left ankle and causing permanent ligament trauma. 3 ruptured ligaments, air cast, ace bandage, crutches, NSAIDs, 7 months physical therapy

Exhibit C

September 2009: v3s and vodka don’t mix; fell and landed on bad ankle during a birthday BKB bouldering party. Now that was dumb. 4 weeks of quality ankle brace time, coupled with one-legged climbing

Exhibit D

November 2009: bad slacklining accident @ BKB, in which I re-injured the same goddamn ligament-lacking left ankle. Aircast, ankle brace, no NSAIDs (by this time, I had developed an allergy to them), 3 months rest and recovery (read: no climbing), some physical therapy.

Exhibit E

May 2010: narrowly escaped near-death experience whilst following leader on a multi-pitch route in the Trapps, Gunks. The torso-sized flake literally missed my head by a few centimeters but got my leader’s middle finger pretty good.

Exhibit F

June 2010: dislocated left shoulder during dynamic v5 move at BKB, involving a swing from one wall to a toe hook on another after pulling said shoulder that same day during minor surfing spill involving funboard to face. Sling, 4 months off climbing, intensive physical therapy.

Exhibit G

January 2011: survived a car accident involving a drunk driver in Kenya en route to the Maasai Mara. Van flipped over on to its side, then into a ditch, on the side where I had been sitting (seatbelt-less, of course, as they do in Kenya). Second shoulder dislocation, GLAD lesion, SLAP lesion, torn cartilage, loose bone chips, arthroscopic shoulder surgery, sling for 6 weeks, 6 months rehab, 9 months off climbing.

GNARLY.